Still Waiting...

Hi Friends,

We just returned from a wonderful week away visiting friends and spending three days at Disneyland. The kids were beside themselves waking each day to explore the parks. I'll let Gabriela fill you in on the specifics. It was great to see the kids laugh and play after having to deal with so much this year.

On Monday I will have an MRI of the head and a CT scan of the chest to determined where the fungus is (or prayfully isn't). My hope is that it is gone in the brainlining and we can hopefully stop the medication. I believe the Doctor wants me to continue the fungal meds for a while, but the dosage should drop. I am still not feeling any real illness from the fungus. I have soreness from the medication, but that is doable. I am expecting the fungus to be gone.

Having a week away on vacation sounds relaxing, but it really is not a time to reflect or pray much - not with 4 kids at Disneyland. Gabriela and I both feel a bit dry spiritually. We need a vacation now that we have been on the "kid's vacation." As our week returns to normal I'm sure we will fall back into our disciplined times of devotion and prayer. I do hope to hear from the Lord regarding the next step. I would like to know something either way, but if the Lord is silent, I will continue as the Doctors say. I can't chance the cancer getting an advantage and placing me in a worst state. My family needs me and unless the Lord tells me differently, I will continue the treatment.

I am so thankful for those that follow this blog and pray for us. I wish I had more to share and could be more specific with how to pray and what, but the facts are, we are still waiting...

I would ask you to pray with us about:
1. Gabriela and I have been asked to speak at a Marriage Dessert on Feb. 14 in So. Cal on the topic of Trusting God in marriage. We need wisdom, creativity, and an outline.

2. Time to refresh our hearts with the Lord amist the busyness of life.

3. Guidance with training up our kids...consistency, character, and transformation.

Thank you and His blessings,

Kelly

Life is never boring!

Hello All,
Stanford is the Nordstroms of Cancer treatment centers! Wow! Although the wait and drive were long, we were thankful to get even greater clarification about T-Cell, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. And thankful for a new friend that we met there who shared with us that she is a witch. She gave us her e-mail address and I look forward coresponding with her.

Kelly was a bit discouraged in that there really are not many conventional methods of treating this disease. Same drugs, different combinations and/or sequences. Although his bone marrow biopsy was clear and he is considered to be in remission, according to protocol, he is far from cured and it is far from even being something to rejoice over.

Don't get me wrong, the doctors all concur that it is "good" that Kelly is in remission in light of the fungus (if he were not, he would be dead). But the doctors believe that Kelly is far from being done with treatment (about 2 more years of chemo).

At this point our biggest request is that prayers are lifted up asking our Father to give clear direction at to what He wants us to do. Personally, I cant' explain why I have such a confidence in what Violet Huckelbarry and Claudia Eller said, (see previous blog entries.) I believe that some time in or after March Kelly will again baffle the doctors with the miraculous recovery they witness and they will not be able to say that Kelly is a poster child for any medications or procedures but that his recovery is nothing but a clear sign that God is alive, involved and desires to show Himself strong on our behalf and sometimes He heals our physical diseases!

My heart longs to have the Lord speak directly to Kelly. He has been through so much this last year and for those of you that know him, you know that he is a work horse and lives, very much in the present. I believe that his heart needs an extended time of solitude in order to process what he has gone through and "feel" it. Then I believe that he will hear from the Lord. Now I know that the Lord can speak whenever and however He desires but I also know that scripture gives us this pattern of the discipline of solitude as we seek His voice.

I have shared this with Kelly and he thinks that a time away would be nice but that there is not time for it. I told him that we just need to ask Jesus if that is what He wants and if it is... He will make the way.

Thank you for your continued love and support through this journey we are on. Praise be to God who is faithful beyond belief, gracious and merciful and is able exceedingly, abundantly beyond what we ask for or even think!! We serve and awesome God.


P.s. Another praise!!! We had a huge scare last night. Anneliese was coming down with, what seemed to be, a cold and was restless through the night. I brought her to our room at about 1 in the morning and at about 2 o-clock I felt her jerk her little body and then stop breathing. Kelly turned on the light and our precious little Anneliese was staring up at the ceiling, pupils dilated, not blinking, stiff body and not breathing. We called 911 and as her lips turned blue, I breathed some breaths for her and then prayed life over her and that if there was any demonic activity that they would be sent to the feet of Jesus for their judgment. She slow began to breath again then the ambulance took her to Children's Hospital (just so happens to be the very next exit from our house. Amazing!) The doctors told us that she had a Febrile Seizure. Her temperature was at 105 and had spiked too quickly that her little body didn't know what to do, consequently, the seizure. We learned that this is not so uncommon for young children, (5 and younger 1 in 200 chance) but that now she will have a 1 in 25 chance of seizuring again. Scary at first then the Lord reminded me, through my dear friend, Tammy Delisle, that God is still on His throne and in control and I refuse to bow to fear. I will only bow to Jesus!! Thank you Lord!

Oh dear friends and family,
We are so sorry to not have updated our blog recently. Right now we are about to leave to speak with a Leukemia specialist at Stanford. We don't have any updates with the fungus or the cancer. Things have actually been busy with "normal life" kind on stuff. Birthday for Andrew, kick off or community groups new session, homework, play dates for our kids... oh how sweet life can be. We love all of you and appreciate your prayers. We will let everyone know what the specialists say.
OH!!! Side note... A family from our church has given us a 3 day trip to Disneyland!! We hope to go the week on Jan. 20th. Pray for Kelly, (stamina, endurance) Lots of Love, Gabriela

We Wait...

Hi Friends,

We hope your holiday is filled with peace. We are continually feeling His peace and it's because of how gracious our God is and because of your prayers and encouragement. Thank you...

We are at a waiting point in my recovery. Our Oncologist wouldn't really comment on the cleared Biopsy. He doesn't want us to abort the chemo treatment and feels the present remission will not last and the Leukemia will return. He would not comment on the differences between the remission in August where the cancer was present but not advancing to the present cleared results showing that there are no Leukemia cells in the biopsy. This was disappointing, but I understand his position and medical training. I have requested a second opinion to Stanford Medical Center.

The fungal infection in the brain dura is hopefully diminishing with the medication. Tests are still being done to see if I should/could be on both fungal medications to knock it out. The Docs on the case are discussing neurosurgery if the fungal mass increases. A future MRI is planned, but as long as the symptoms of headache and neck pain don't increase, we will give the medication some time to work.

I have been pondering Psalms 86 a lot over the last week or so. It's a prayer of David's to hear God's voice for direction. During much of the last 8 months it's been hard for me to hear God. Between the physical fatigue, hospital medications, and my own personal dealing with cancer and a deathly fungal infection, it frankly has been hard to be intimate with God - to the point of hearing Him. Please don't take this as me being carnal spiritually. It has more to do with grieving the losses of this illness and how it has turned our world up side down. I think it something you need to experience to understand. I feel God's love, peace, and presence daily. I just don't hear Him regarding the cancer or fungus. Do I follow the Docs direction (which has saved my life, but also placed me in life threatening positions) or by faith receive the guidance of prayer through biblical prophecy? Or both, yet how? I'm abit confused. That's why your prayers have been so important. I have had several people share that they have heard from God, including Gabriela, that I will be healed from this and even as soon as by March 2008. That doesn't align with what the docs say or the treatments that they are advising.

I am at a place where I personally need to hear from God. That's why Psalm 86 has been my prayer and will continue to be my prayer as I seek Him. Honestly, this is very new for me. I need more than circumstantial alignment or fleecing (as many use to hear from God). I desire that the still small voice that Elijah experienced. I don't know if God will speak to me that way, but He will speak. Pray I have spiritual eyes and ears to hear it.

Again, thank you for your prayers...there's a warfare going on and I need you to stand with me.

His blessings,

Kelly

Doc...amazed and calls me a poster child!

Hi Friends,

We traveled to San Jose and met with Dr. David Stephen, an Infectious Disease M.D. He and another doc spent over 2 hours with us. He was frankly amazed when he saw me expecting a emaciated sickly person and instead seeing a health looking person. You honestly wouldn't know I was sick with a deadly infection. The fungal infection I had in the lungs and sinus is one, if not the worst, fungal infection you can get and is often fatal. He told us that my case was one of the more complicated cases he has seen. He basically said I should be dead if not very sick. He used the word miraculous to describe my present condition (Your prayers are responsible for that - thank you!!).

The infection in the lungs and sinus is clearing up well. The brain dura's infection is in line with my sinus, so it is pretty clear that my swelling is due to the infection crossing into my dura. It's isolated away from the nervous system and not in the brain. It seems to be contained and not progressing at this time. Mucor is a very fast moving infection and would have been much worst if something wasn't restricting it. The thought is the medicine and my immune system are working well. I believe the Lord's gracious hand is also at work.

The course of action is to continue on the medicine while the Doc is seeing if he can test my original "bug" with the Ambizone (a drug I was on that was worst than any chemo I received) would be helpful to take with the present medicine to fight this infection faster. He is also testing how much absorption the medicine is actually getting into the blood system. I have increased the medicine and now wait.

I am experiencing some neck discomfort and head pressure which acts as a reminder that I am dependent on the Lord. The Doc says I will probably need to be on anti fungal therapy (drugs) for a year. Gabriela keeps reminding me that the Lord gave us a "word" that I would be completely healed by March (read earlier blog entry about Violet Huckleberry and Claudia Eller). It would clearly be the hand of God to see this all cleared up by March 2008. Then the question for us is what does this mean. Do we continue to pursuit a bone marrow transplant? The chemo regiment? or just continue with the supplements and dietary changes?

Please pray with us as we seek God's voice. We believe He will speak and guide us. He always has in the big decisions of our lives. How does He want to bring glory to Himself though this? That's what we are seeking to know clearly. THANK YOU FOR PRAYING AND ENCOURAGING US.

Love you all,

Kelly

Oh, went back to the gym for the first time in 8 months. It was painful and will be tomorrow, but so good for my soul. I praise God for His grace and presence!

Good NEWS...Clear Biopsy!!!!

Hi Friends,

I have an appointment with an infectious disease doc in San Jose to give us a second opinion on how to address the swelling in the brain dura. My last MRI showed no change for better or worst. The doc here just doesn't know what the answer is to treating this. We don't know if it's the fungal infection or something else and there is no way of really knowing without brain surgery which we agree would be foolish at this time. I am not having any physical symptoms from this swelling so hopefully this specialist in San Jose will have some direction to give us.

I also had a bone marrow biopsy a week ago and unofficially was told that the preliminary results show that the bone marrow is "clear" of cancer. We don't know exactly what that means, but it definitely means that we are in remission. The bone marrow being clear of Leukemia means that the cancer is not being produced in my body. It's possible that it could mean that I don't have Leukemia cells in the blood and at present I am cancer free!!! This would be great goods and I won't find out until next week when I see the Oncologist. Praise God. My last biopsy in August showed that the cancer was present but hadn't increased since my diagnosis. I haven't had any chemo sense that biopsy because of the fungal situation and the surgeries. I personally believe that the food supplements I was on put my body in a self healing mode. God created our body to fight diease when there is a proper nutritional balance in the body. For the 6 weeks before the biopsy I was taking high doses of these supplements because other people had given testimony that their bodies experienced similar results with cancer. We are in awe!!!

We are so thankful for the prayers, encouragement, and support that many have given us. We are not out of the woods completely, but seeing the meadow of healing ahead. God is amazing in the way He created us. We are feeling very blessed and loved. REJOICE WITH US and give God PRAISE for His marvelous grace!

We will report on today's appointment and the doc's advice. Keep praying for us. It was hard to get use to the idea of cancer and possible death. It's seem hard to see life as a cancer survivor. We don't have that prognosis yet, but pondering the hope feels so odd at present. Can I begin to hope, dream, plan our lives again? What additional stewardship would the Lord ask of us? I can't express what feeling such hope brings to my soul.

We love you all,

Kelly

update

We received a call from our infectious disease specialist who said that after looking at Kelly's MRI he realized that the issue in the durum was worse then he had thought it was after only reading the report. He feels that an much more aggressive treatment is needed at this time. He wants Kelly to go back on the original fungal medicine, Amphataracine. Kelly said that this medication is far worse then Chemo. Dr.Lutz wants Kelly to be on it for a month, every day. It is a daily 3 hour infusion process.

Well, you can imagine that this was not good news and very frustrating. Kelly feels strongly that he doesn't want to go back on this med., (Last time he was on it, it damaged his kidneys and made him feel horrible.). Kelly also believes that since there is not definite evidence it is the fungus that is effecting the durum, he doesn't want to be treated with guess work.

The only way to know for sure what is going on is through a pathology which can only happen if they open Kelly's skull and the doctors have said that it is too much of a risk. Both our infectious disease specialist and Oncologist are on the same page as to what they feel we need to do at this point.

The Oncologist also felt that it was vital that Kelly feel confident about the course of treatment and that it would be a good idea and helpful to get another opinion. So... we are being sent to San Jose to see a specialist with Mucor Micosis.

We were also told that Kelly's blood counts look great!!!(Thank you Jesus!)Indicating that he is likely still in remission and this gives us some breathing room to address the fungus issues. The Oncologist also said that it would be a good idea to go and see a Leukemia specialist at Stanford at some point.

We feel good about these decisions and feel peace and confidence in the Lord. He is in control of EVERYTHING! and we praise Him for it.
Thank you again for your prayers! Please pray for direction, God's internal work in our hearts, like mindedness and of course healing.