We Wait...

Hi Friends,

We hope your holiday is filled with peace. We are continually feeling His peace and it's because of how gracious our God is and because of your prayers and encouragement. Thank you...

We are at a waiting point in my recovery. Our Oncologist wouldn't really comment on the cleared Biopsy. He doesn't want us to abort the chemo treatment and feels the present remission will not last and the Leukemia will return. He would not comment on the differences between the remission in August where the cancer was present but not advancing to the present cleared results showing that there are no Leukemia cells in the biopsy. This was disappointing, but I understand his position and medical training. I have requested a second opinion to Stanford Medical Center.

The fungal infection in the brain dura is hopefully diminishing with the medication. Tests are still being done to see if I should/could be on both fungal medications to knock it out. The Docs on the case are discussing neurosurgery if the fungal mass increases. A future MRI is planned, but as long as the symptoms of headache and neck pain don't increase, we will give the medication some time to work.

I have been pondering Psalms 86 a lot over the last week or so. It's a prayer of David's to hear God's voice for direction. During much of the last 8 months it's been hard for me to hear God. Between the physical fatigue, hospital medications, and my own personal dealing with cancer and a deathly fungal infection, it frankly has been hard to be intimate with God - to the point of hearing Him. Please don't take this as me being carnal spiritually. It has more to do with grieving the losses of this illness and how it has turned our world up side down. I think it something you need to experience to understand. I feel God's love, peace, and presence daily. I just don't hear Him regarding the cancer or fungus. Do I follow the Docs direction (which has saved my life, but also placed me in life threatening positions) or by faith receive the guidance of prayer through biblical prophecy? Or both, yet how? I'm abit confused. That's why your prayers have been so important. I have had several people share that they have heard from God, including Gabriela, that I will be healed from this and even as soon as by March 2008. That doesn't align with what the docs say or the treatments that they are advising.

I am at a place where I personally need to hear from God. That's why Psalm 86 has been my prayer and will continue to be my prayer as I seek Him. Honestly, this is very new for me. I need more than circumstantial alignment or fleecing (as many use to hear from God). I desire that the still small voice that Elijah experienced. I don't know if God will speak to me that way, but He will speak. Pray I have spiritual eyes and ears to hear it.

Again, thank you for your prayers...there's a warfare going on and I need you to stand with me.

His blessings,

Kelly

Doc...amazed and calls me a poster child!

Hi Friends,

We traveled to San Jose and met with Dr. David Stephen, an Infectious Disease M.D. He and another doc spent over 2 hours with us. He was frankly amazed when he saw me expecting a emaciated sickly person and instead seeing a health looking person. You honestly wouldn't know I was sick with a deadly infection. The fungal infection I had in the lungs and sinus is one, if not the worst, fungal infection you can get and is often fatal. He told us that my case was one of the more complicated cases he has seen. He basically said I should be dead if not very sick. He used the word miraculous to describe my present condition (Your prayers are responsible for that - thank you!!).

The infection in the lungs and sinus is clearing up well. The brain dura's infection is in line with my sinus, so it is pretty clear that my swelling is due to the infection crossing into my dura. It's isolated away from the nervous system and not in the brain. It seems to be contained and not progressing at this time. Mucor is a very fast moving infection and would have been much worst if something wasn't restricting it. The thought is the medicine and my immune system are working well. I believe the Lord's gracious hand is also at work.

The course of action is to continue on the medicine while the Doc is seeing if he can test my original "bug" with the Ambizone (a drug I was on that was worst than any chemo I received) would be helpful to take with the present medicine to fight this infection faster. He is also testing how much absorption the medicine is actually getting into the blood system. I have increased the medicine and now wait.

I am experiencing some neck discomfort and head pressure which acts as a reminder that I am dependent on the Lord. The Doc says I will probably need to be on anti fungal therapy (drugs) for a year. Gabriela keeps reminding me that the Lord gave us a "word" that I would be completely healed by March (read earlier blog entry about Violet Huckleberry and Claudia Eller). It would clearly be the hand of God to see this all cleared up by March 2008. Then the question for us is what does this mean. Do we continue to pursuit a bone marrow transplant? The chemo regiment? or just continue with the supplements and dietary changes?

Please pray with us as we seek God's voice. We believe He will speak and guide us. He always has in the big decisions of our lives. How does He want to bring glory to Himself though this? That's what we are seeking to know clearly. THANK YOU FOR PRAYING AND ENCOURAGING US.

Love you all,

Kelly

Oh, went back to the gym for the first time in 8 months. It was painful and will be tomorrow, but so good for my soul. I praise God for His grace and presence!

Good NEWS...Clear Biopsy!!!!

Hi Friends,

I have an appointment with an infectious disease doc in San Jose to give us a second opinion on how to address the swelling in the brain dura. My last MRI showed no change for better or worst. The doc here just doesn't know what the answer is to treating this. We don't know if it's the fungal infection or something else and there is no way of really knowing without brain surgery which we agree would be foolish at this time. I am not having any physical symptoms from this swelling so hopefully this specialist in San Jose will have some direction to give us.

I also had a bone marrow biopsy a week ago and unofficially was told that the preliminary results show that the bone marrow is "clear" of cancer. We don't know exactly what that means, but it definitely means that we are in remission. The bone marrow being clear of Leukemia means that the cancer is not being produced in my body. It's possible that it could mean that I don't have Leukemia cells in the blood and at present I am cancer free!!! This would be great goods and I won't find out until next week when I see the Oncologist. Praise God. My last biopsy in August showed that the cancer was present but hadn't increased since my diagnosis. I haven't had any chemo sense that biopsy because of the fungal situation and the surgeries. I personally believe that the food supplements I was on put my body in a self healing mode. God created our body to fight diease when there is a proper nutritional balance in the body. For the 6 weeks before the biopsy I was taking high doses of these supplements because other people had given testimony that their bodies experienced similar results with cancer. We are in awe!!!

We are so thankful for the prayers, encouragement, and support that many have given us. We are not out of the woods completely, but seeing the meadow of healing ahead. God is amazing in the way He created us. We are feeling very blessed and loved. REJOICE WITH US and give God PRAISE for His marvelous grace!

We will report on today's appointment and the doc's advice. Keep praying for us. It was hard to get use to the idea of cancer and possible death. It's seem hard to see life as a cancer survivor. We don't have that prognosis yet, but pondering the hope feels so odd at present. Can I begin to hope, dream, plan our lives again? What additional stewardship would the Lord ask of us? I can't express what feeling such hope brings to my soul.

We love you all,

Kelly